Michael (2020) is a drawing depicting my Father crying that I recreated by memory from his original, which served as a revenge gift to my mother for breaking his heart. Though she lost the original, it remained burned in my memory since I first laid eyes on it. As a child, my Father's drawing perplexed me as it challenged his homo- and Transphobia, shaming me for crying and not recognizing me as a girl. Witnessing his willingness to portray himself crying made me feel seen and validated.
From a young age, these feelings of shame accompanied me on my trans journey. Nearly two years ago, I started a drawing to confront this shame. However, I scraped it and redrew it after transitioning. Michelle (2023) is a drawing that mirrors my Father's, portraying me crying at the same age he was when he made the original. Both drawings reconcile and contrast our competing narratives, my Transness with his cis maleness. They complicate and celebrate a dialogue across gender, genealogy, and time.
